Friday, June 1, 2012

What I learned about my fear of failure


One of the biggest things holding me back from achieving my goal of becoming an Accountant was my fear of failure. I had registered for a class that I had previously failed before and I was super nervous about the whole situation. This was the only class holding me back from making my dream a reality and I didn’t know how I would pass it, but I was determined to give it my best shot.  I was optimistic and I put my best foot forward, but out of nowhere while taking my exams I felt as though I was literally facing some demons. I was abused both mentally and physically as a child and after many years, I can honestly say that I thought I was over all of that. But I wasn’t over all of the mental abuse, during most of my exams, I would remember all those times I was told I was not smart enough repeating silently back to me like a broken record. We had three exams and a final exam in this class and it wasn’t until my third exam that I had started to feel more confident that I would succeed and pass this class. I had done my best so far and had not left any questions unanswered to the point that I can now teach this class if I wanted to. Even if I had not passed this class, I was determined to take it as many times as I needed to so that I can finally put a rest to conquering my fear of failure. When it came time to take our final exam, I was prepared to give it my all. I had trained myself well and I had finally faced all those mental demons and if I started to get any negative feelings creeping up on me I replied with my mantra for the day “I am a warrior and I will not let anyone or anything stand in my way today”.  To my surprise, I had already passed the biggest test of all, which was defeating this negative mental demon and receiving my passing grade was the proof that when you give your mind, body  and spirit all that it needs coupled with determination, perseverance and lots of positive self-talk “all is possible”.  
                
How I did it? I couldn’t have done it without the help of my many beautiful friends and teachers. First, I was very blessed to have an awesome teacher who went above and beyond to teach me that there are many methods to reach a solution. Secondly, I prayed a lot. I think God might be thinking geez “I heard you the first time”. Third, I created a train your brain yoga program for myself in which I practiced certain yoga poses the morning before my exam to calm my nerves and give me a killer mindset. It was a very powerful yoga practice. I also made sure I was eating the right foods to promote a healthy and faster brain function. 
                
In conclusion, this whole experience has taught me some great lessons. It has taught me that failure is a part of success and when you use failure as your teacher it brings you closer to your goal. I would say that a major part of success is in the mind and if you can conquer the mind’s negative self –talk, you are already a success. Everything else is just a matter of applying action to where you want to go with your goal. 

By: Cristina Tuazon
Yoga instructor/Practitioner 
camtuazon@hotmail.com

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